This story covers my experiences
|Of coming across a different way of life.you might just find it useful to yours in some way, in any event I hope you find it of interest.|
|It was years ago but it only seems like yesterday when my eldest son mentioned he wanted to finish High school early and find a job,like most parents who try to pass on the benefits of their experiences,I would repeat; “Don’t just leave for the sake of it,find out where your interests are and build on that,take a course,get some qualifications, if you enjoy what you do in life that is a real advantage”.|
|Why don’t kids ever listen to us? I mean don’t they realise we have lived longer than them, therefore we must know best? well some of us like to think so. For days I would repeat these words to him, funny thing happened next, I started to listen to myself, what a hypocrite, who am I to hand out advise, I’m doing one thing and saying another.|
|For many years I had been with a large firm and during that time I met my future wife, got married, built our first home and had three children who are now young adults. Most people wish their vocation included what really suits them and what they really would like to do in life but few ever find it, and I was no different.|
|One thing I realised though after talking to my son and that is; We cannot change anyone else,the only one we can change is ourselves.|
|I started to become more aware of possibilities and opportunities that I might have missed out on, perhaps because we tell ourselves “that’s too hard”, “I’ll never be able to do that” or “I can’t be bothered right now”. Maybe what we really mean is “I’m comfortable being in a rut and don’t want things to change. Well where were my interests then?|
I didn’t have a clue. Except….. I was always interested in hearing my wife talk about her experiences of intuition and precognition, apparently when she was very young she was able to ’sense’ things which were about to happen to her School friends, she would be reduced to tears though because her friends would call her a ‘jinx’. She soon learned to keep quiet about such feelings and still felt this way untill I met her. I on the other hand, found this very interesting and would talk for hours on this type of phenomenon,as my thinking always has been quite ‘open’,I would comfort her feelings of being a jinx as really being something of a natural ability that I believe we all have at some level. After all many people have ‘Hunches’and and ‘Feelings’and what about ‘Womans Intuition’, we don’t consider these things as being scary do we? I have always encouraged her to feel more comfortable about these abilties and to expand her own thinking, after all we all have free choice to accept or reject what we like, once we have a informed opinion where that opinion is not dominated with fear and misgivings. Many more instances of precognition would come to her at unexpected times of a ‘Helpful’kind in the form of strong feelings which were and are always correct as far as I’m aware.
Perhaps because I have always been curious about areas of life that I don’t understand or will never comprehend fully as to why all of us are seemingly unique individuals leading vastly different lives,a large influence of course is geographic location and the formative years as children, while young we are mostly moulded and conditioned by parents, how to Act,Behave and sometimes how to Think.
But where is the common thread binding us humans together,its not through experiences,abilites,talents,drive,ambition or outlook.
Coupled with this curiosity and a new found desire to look for new directions,what happened next was one event leading to another,some might call it Synchronicity.
One day,while at a local book store I came across A particular book which caught my eye,it was titled ‘Philosophy of one’,my wife who was with me enquired what was it about,I hadn’t fully read the blurb yet I seemed to already know what the contents of the book were in advance. It looked interesting,about a person who had a Coronary condition,died and was later resuscitated and told of his experience of what it’s like to pass over and come back. (It looked right up my alley)
While buying a copy,I was informed by the shop keeper that it was written by a local Author who held courses on Natural Therapies and would I like his contact details at all? I replied “No I don’t think so” and left it at that. Well after reading his story I rang the store back, asking for the Authors telephone number. I did not know it then but this was to lead to a long association with the Author and a change in my life.
The actual story is quite remarkable,the book was the result of a earlier Article which was published and later read by a Psychologist,Who I was also to have contact with much later.
Briefly,the article described what it was like after the Author had died; “It was a place of great peace and contentment,without the burden of emotions,but great intellectual excitement, ask a question and the answer would be there before the question is fully proposed…..What is Time?, answer…Time is no time in a positive sense,but things happen in sequence out side of time and the answer would be immediatly understood”.
In this state he was able to look back on his life on Earth (”It was relevant at the time but now it was of no importance”), no grief was felt over being parted from his loved wife, as he gained a greater clarity that all of us are really (ONE).
EXPLANATION..While alive we isolate and individualise ourselves from one another,whether as different races,individuals,cultures,communities or countries,it is the emotions we have which creates and stimulates Fear, Jealousy, Greed, Anger, Hostility and distrust of one another,which in turn creates unrest and wars,but in reality without the illusion of being seperate from each other we are really part of each other….The most important aspect of our lives,we must come to know is..Love.
If you consider this Philosophy further,i.e. competitive sports becomes nonsenseical as you are really competing against yourself, (or) not only are we our Brothers keeper but we are also our Brother!..or Sister.
The Author was resusceitated and brought ‘back’to life. He complained rather ungratefully to the Doctor,”why bring me back, it’s like bringing someone back to a life in prison”.
This summery of mine of course is very brief,the book covers in great detail many interesting,but then straight foreward aspects of what life is really about.
When the Author was contacted by the Psychologist,it was suggested it maybe possible for him to return to the same state again with the aid of Hypnosis.(which is really just a relaxation method). The story describes how,after several attempts this was sucessful and became regular sessions with close friends in attendance who recorded the dialogue on tape,which consisted of questions and answers on life and health issues.
This group of people later formed a free natural health clinic,which is still going to this day,the clinic is made up from ; Osteopaths,Therapeutic Massage,Naturopaths,Counsellors, Hypnotherapists,Iridology and Acupuncture. These alternative Therapists volunteer a day each week of their time for those who are unable to pay for regular or mainstream therapy elsewhere and is a totally free clinic for its Patients,with overheads being met by the (Association).
The formation of this clinic came about from the ‘Philosophy’given at the sessions as a challenge,(for those present who say they are altruistic toward others),in that it is easy to sit around doing nothing and wish we could help others,in other words pretend to have concern but do nothing,but it is quite another thing to actually make a effort and put ourselves out for someone else for no reward.
When I spoke to the Author on the phone,I wanted to acertain as best I could,how genuine this person seemed,I was impressed first of all how articulate his voice and manner sounded,he assured me he didn’t personally care one way or another if no one believed his story,while under Hypnosis he was not aware of the dialogue or Philosophy coming through him in response to questions put to him.
He stated his own position of belief in the (channelling)was,for a long time,one of disbelief and this was followed by a certain ambivalence and scepticism,finally he came to accept in the main what was being said, (he goes on),This does not mean I accept everything unreservedly.
He still requires proofs where these can be obtained,however he does accept the Philosophy which follows from it without any reservation,the proof of this,it seems to him lays not in any external phenomena but within the philosophy itself.
His attitude changed a lot after his death experience, in his own words; “I use to be a narrow minded ‘twit’, if people did not agree with my own views then they were worthy of my scorn”.
Now he is not so opinionated and is more tolerant of others,his business activites had turned to forming a Institute of Natural Therapies,offering Diploma and Certificate,extra mural studies.
I commented to him,his story is similar to that of Edgar Cayce,the Psychic who lived in Virgina,U.S.A.,until he died in 1945,he had also been told that by others but he was not aware of Edgars story himself or had even heard of him,as his interest in Psychic’s or Metaphysics were zero,as he was quite happy in the comfort of the teachings of his Church.
As we ended our conversation he promised to mail a prospectus for me to look over. I was reminded of my own Mothers sentiments after she was Hospitalised many years ago for a heart condition,she had died in intensive care for a short time before being revived by Doctors and Nursing staff,she also did not want to ‘come back’. As a 18 year old then, I didn’t think anymore of it.
I live in a small country with a small population by world standards and this persons experience seemed very much out of the ordinary or maybe too sensational or something to have happened here,let alone in the same city where I live, it made it all the more interesting and credible to me somehow.
Three months later,saw me begining what was to be a two and a half year Diploma course with the Institute,out of the list of 12/13 Therapies,the Counselling course looked interesting,but at that stage of my life, NO I couldn’t see myself as a counsellor,the idea of it did not seem to fit somehow.
For some reason the Hypnotherapy studies looked more interesting,well it did cover Psychology which I had a interest in,I was always trying to Nut things out about life in general after all, and taking up a study in something would be a welcome change to the monotonous repetition I felt life was becoming.
Also it was one of those subjects I have always wondered about because I did not understand how or what Hypnosis really was,I knew some people may see a stage show and believed the Hypnotist had some sort of ‘power’ or ‘control’ over the participants, but reasoning told me,no one can take ‘free will’ away from anyone else, I mean you can’t really make anyone ‘do’ things against their will…right!
No there had to be more to it than that, then why or how does it seemingly have an effect?..especially for pain control.
I had read of it being used by Doctors for those purposes in the battlefeilds of long ago for amputations in the absence of anaesthetic’s and also for childbirth,it has and still is being used these days as pain control in some cases.
NO, I couldn’t understand how it worked at all,..well could it be, (I wondered)that I could not understand how ‘I’ worked either.
With these thoughts in mind,I decided on the Clinical Hypnotherapy course as being the most interesting out of the subjects to take up,the therapeutic applications of it appeared to be of real value from eliminating or reducing Phobia’s to physical health problems,blood pressure,heart rate ect.,overweight conditions,Anorexia,producing Anaesthesia,reducing Stress,Stage fright,Athletic performance,learning difficulties,improving self Esteem,Motivation and coping with Depression by investigating the actual causes of symptoms.
Yep it looked a real fun course alright.
I was pleased to start the course though, it was not only very affordable compared to many other Institues,but I could also study part time between my regular job, I had no excuse not to do something of interest for myself. Getting through the Assignments were not a labour,they were in depth and suprisingly I found I was getting through them easily.
While learning the induction methods of relaxation techniques,I had one of the most memorable experiences that I had ever had, happen to me
My wife’s friend was staying with us one weekend from another town and she seemed interested in my new found study and offered to be a subject for the practical Induction assignment I was currently working on. It envolved being familiar with various methods to gain experience and confidence,not only for myself but for future clients I was to write a objective report on my findings and any reactions of the subject, which needs to be monitored closely at all times in case of a emotional reaction occurring.
The objective was to induce physical and mental relaxation while taking the subject to a level where the subject felt comfortable for a timed three minute period, then to bring them back to full awareness gradually and that was all for this part of the assignment.
Just a note, It may sound like the Therapist or Hypnotist exerts some sort of control over the subject,this is NOT the case at all. The Therapist guides the method or is a teacher of methods only. The subject controls him or herself at all times. The subject is aware of where they are and whats happening around them,they are simply accepting your suggestions if they agree with them,they are perfectly able to terminate the session if they wish,what is employed though is the subjects Imagination.
So we began,using a eye fixation object slightly above the line of vision for the subject to keep her attention on, to stop any distractions and to tire the small muscles around the eyes, inviting them to close. Three people were present in the room my wife,subject and of course myself. The induction procedure took 20 minutes then the timed 3 minute deep relaxation interval with suggestions inviting the subject to ‘go’ to a favourite place where she feels happy and secure.
Anyway it all went nicely for my first attempt. On coming back to full consciousness,she reported it felt like coming out of a light anesthetic but felt fine and very relaxed also she cuuldn’t wait for the ‘next’time. When it was suggested she go to a favourite place,she ‘went’ to a shoreline at a beach,paddled in the water was aware of birds flying overhead and felt sand running through her fingers after scooping up a handfull and could ‘feel’the warmth of the sun on her. Although our session lasted for 40 minutes it seemed a much shorter time to her.
This was a sign of a good subject,with this clarity while visualising,no signs of distress were evident.
It was several weeks later,this person had noticed her anxiety about riding on escalators had been reduced, apparently at some stage years before she had her heel caught in the last step of the moving stairway before getting off it at a shopping centre, making her feel ever more cautious it might happen again,she would avoid using escalators in favor of using a flight of stairs instead.
To illustrate a point how we mostly live (if you like) in our imaginations and emotions instead of concrete reality part of the original induction script included “descending down a escalator feeling happy and secure” At the time of our session no one except the subject knew of this anxiety existing. It was a coincidence as the analogy could have been of a elevator or lift instead. it seems comforting suggestions coupled with emotional relaxation while visualising the scene overcame the problem for her.. Funny how the mind works,don’t you think?
I wanted to know first hand,exactly how Hypnosis may feel to me,and after coaching the subject we swapped places, handing the induction script to her,I asked, if the induction seemed to be sucessful, that she and my wife,who was still present,to attempt to get a reaction out of me by carrying on talking normaly amongest themselves and even tell a joke,while I was at my ‘favourite’place.
Halfway through the induction, I was still not feeling any effect,I did expect by now to be quite relaxed, but my eyes were not even feeling drowsey through gazing at the fixation object,it was at this point of feeling ready to call it all off,that the room seemed to fade in and out of my vision,a very peaceful feeling came over me as my eyes closed,and listened to the familar words of the induction script that I had written being read out.
Still using the same escalator visualisation to aid relaxation,vaguely I saw the bottom step slowly coming up and then I stepped off it. With the words “Go to your favourite place” nothing happened for what seemed like minutes but more like it was only seconds. Next, the most amazing scene opened up it was not a case of just viewing a picture but actually being in a reality and not being aware of, (if you like) a physical body it was a sensation of speeding through a forest from a aerial perspective of the most brilliant colours and clarity,complete with a ‘rushing’sound of movement.
This followed on to a view of a partly snow covered mountain in the distance.
Next, almost instantaneously, circling closely around at mountain top level viewing as one might from a aircraft the detail and colours of the rock and snow of the mountain were very impressive.
In the far distance there was the forest from where I had just ‘came’ from, this whole scene was one of continuity and not as a fragmented dream, it was interesting being in this state because I was perfectly aware of being in the room yet totally absorbed with this scene I was involved in. I can explain it this way, If we are say reading a book and someone interupts us we can either (A) put the book down and listen to them or (B) ignore the interuption and carry on reading.
In this state however you could do both at once. I was also very aware of the joke the two girls were telling; “Now that he’s knocked himself out lets go through his pockets”, this attempt to make me laugh only resulted in a grin from me,I was so relaxed where I was, ‘laughing’ felt like too much effort.
Another curious thing I noticed, I was aware at the time of a itch on my arm but I just could not be bothered about it, normally a itch would drive me crazy untill it was scratched but again in this state though it was only a dull sensation and of no importance. On coming back to full consciousness I experienced feelings of coming out of a very light anaesthesia that my subject had also mentioned,this soon passed though.
This experience was very impressive and proved to me a altered state did indeed exist where physical sensations may be reduced by degrees using appropriate suggestions of relaxation both physical and emotional. It was if a new world had opened up, or at least a world I never knew.
It was really,I think my attitude that was changing. The calming feeling felt during the Hypnosis session lasted over the next several days, while at work for instance I felt more at ease and simply not over reacting to day to day problems that sometimes crop up.
I have always lived very much in a material world,where you can weigh,measure or otherwise know things are tangible,Saw a piece of wood in half and belt your thumb with a hammer and you know its real alright,but this experience was something special and no less real to me.
As I carried on with the course, my wifes abilties of intuition and precognition were growing,she came to know other people of like mind and realised others had similar things happen to them I suspected at that time, that my interest in Psychology and her Psychic abilities were coming togeather for some future reason.
It seems to me life can be like a game of Chess, make a move in a certain direction and this can open up opportunities in other areas that before never existed or could not exist untill like a baby we first learn to crawl and then to walk,my wife however was learning to ‘run’.
At one stage of the assignments I was dealing with Phobias and their possible causes,my wife and I took a break and had a two week trip to Sydney,Australia and while there we took a coach ride to Canberra, it was about a 3-4 hour drive and during this trip I started ‘chomping’on chocolates to while away the time,my wife who is much wiser than me,was warning me not to eat too many at once when next the unexpected happened.
I started to Choke (To anyone who has been in this predicament,you swiftly come to the conclusion that life becomes very precious all of a sudden) and its surprising how few people know how to help the victim, thats the second thing you find out, during my panic and thrashing around on the crowded bus,I was being slapped on the back mostly.
Instead one should get behind the victim and using clasped hands in front, pull hard and fast inwards just below the belly button to clear the airway. However I was asked by a kind person if I was ok,but of course one does find it difficult to speak in those circumstances, if I were able to talk I just might say with a bit of humour,”I’m terribly sorry to upset all of you people by leaping around like this but I’m turning a blue colour right now because I’m soon going to die from choking”.
After what seemed like a very long time the chocolate started to dissolve and I started to breathe again, the panic was over (or so I thought).
By the time our holiday was over and we were catching a flight home this incident on the coach was consciously forgotten by me.
Something curious happened when we were about to have our first dinner at home after our trip away,I couldn’t bring myself to eat. With the first mouthfull the symtoms were; tightening and restriction of the throat muscles accompanied with raised heart rate and the same panic reaction I felt on the coach when choking,my legs felt like jelly, altogeather this was very unsettling,I had never experienced anything like this in the way it was affecting me.
In the past I may have choked on the odd thing or two I’d eaten but had always got over it without any after effects. This situation I found myself in did not change over the next one and a half weeks at all,all I could bring myself to swallow,( and very slowly) was soup and if I could manage anything more solid I had to cut it so finely it was ridiculous.
I had visions of losing so much weight that I’d just fade away or be very sick at least,I felt a Doctor couldn’t help much either,even with muscle relaxing drugs, that would only treat some of the symptoms but not the cause, time may not cure this problem either. Something had to be done about this situation and quickly.
I reasoned the dynamic’s of what was happening to me were:
Memory, Imagination, Expectation and Belief. In my case the trigger was (1)The memory of the event,(2) Expectation that food leads to choking, (3)Belief that history would repeat again.
It was at this time I realised how real and strong Phobias can be and I appreciated just how badly some people can suffer from a whole different range of Phobias with differing degrees of intensity on a scale of 1 to 5,mine was a 4.
Some of the case histories I had researched included reading of a Policeman who would always use the stairs because he feared being in a lift,he sought treatment for exhaustion after being transferred to a job on the 12th floor of a building.
And a Woman who use to take more than 2 hours to drive a few miles to a supermarket because everytime she saw a person on the curb she had to turn back to check that she had not run the person over. and there was a case of a young Girl overcome with terrifying panic attacks on a daily basis while walking to school in a rural area,this Agoraphobia persisted into adult life.
Telling these people “It’s all in your mind” or “Pull yourself togeather”, unfortunatly is of no use at all, but treatment for those conditions are available and are often very positive.
However,I had decided on a plan to get my life back again,when I was next at work, during lunch breaks I intentionally engaged anyone I could find in conversation and to the exclusion of all else concentrated intensly on the words they were saying to me.
While at the same time I attempted to eat a small amount of food,it was a bit like trying to get away with something while the other part of my mind was busy and not ‘looking’. Slowly day by day I was improving, by the end of eight days I had finally broken the pattern and returned to normal eating habits with no left over traces of the panic attacks.
The reason why I mentioned this whole incident is to show how our minds and body are functionally inseparable. these two functions affect each other, either way around, stimulated by the imagination and to show how strong our minds are, makes no difference whether the end goals happen to be good or bad, positive or negative, we can be ‘programmed’ by past events sometimes unconsciously, these same principles seem to operate in all areas of our lives where under an emotion,the subconscious mind seems to register a statement or action just as if a recording were being made when some association or ‘trigger’restimulates the memory.
It is The Emotion which heightens a incident. It is The Emotion which also restimulates the incident.
I wondered why I was unfortunate enough to go through this Phobia episode, it did seem a coincidence to have happened just when I was covering this very subject in my assignments,well I did come through it ok and in a way maybe I wasn’t unfortunate at all,because I learned from first hand experience instead of learning from text books also it did ‘drive’home to me just how powerful our minds can be.
The months rolled by,it was a interesting and changing time in my life for me and my wife, we would both talk for hours into the night when the kids were in bed about her new circle of friends and she seemed to be going to a new level of understanding her intuitive abilites as much as I was gaining more insight into what I was learning.
she mentioned several times though, that the Therapy I was involved with wasn’t the right one for me, I took this as a lack of confidence in yours truly at the time. But no, as things changed even more I came to realise that she did not quite mean that at all.
If you really think about it, you will realise most hurdles we need to overcome that exists in life has to do with or is triggered by our relationships with other people, but we are social animals after all and in the process of our socialisation we can be subjected to pressures, learning and conditioning which are not always appropriate to our individual capacity and needs, while there are ways which we can resolve personal problems, sometimes we need help in order to be able to face up to and deal with our feelings,change our reactions to certain situations,or resolve the origin and cause of our complaints.
For example,there is a hypothetical case of a little boy who lives near a railway line. One day he sees a person killed on the level crossing,he is very shocked and his mind records all his reactions including the quickening of his heart beat,the pumping of excessive adrenalin,and so on. He rushes in to Mother but is incoherent and she cannot understand what has happened.
Wisely,she puts him to bed. During his sleep he has a dream of a violent event, although not as violent as the one he has witnessed. On waking he may or may not remember his dream but the little boy will have no conscious awareness of having seen the person killed.
His dream will have been a part of a natural process of adjustment used to repress his conscious awareness of the event. However, the neural recordings of the trauma will remain and the associated fear might be activated by associated incidents throughout his life.
For instance,years later without being aware of the real cause,he may drive his car over an over-rail bridge rather than over a railway crossing. When asked the reason he might rationalise that level crossings are rough and that he likes to take care of his car. Or one day he reads of a terrible train accident,and thereafter discovers that he either dislikes trains or has a real Phobia which makes it impossible for him to travel on a train.
The early repressed experience which had remained physiologically imprinted, although apparently dormant for most of his life, was in fact subtly influencing his behaviour under associative conditions,even to the extent of Phobic reactions.
To treat these and similar complaints, first you must know the source of the problem. Age regression can be an effective uncovering tool, (there are always safeguards put in place when using this technique )Taking the subject back,year by year to a significant period in their lives to uncover any incidents that may be relevant to their present condition.
while employing this method with a subject its amazing how far the mind can reach back over the years, one such person I was working with whose present age was 37 years old regressing to birth, as far back as 5years old he recited to me his long ago home phone number in a childlike manner which was impressed on him at the time by his Mother in case he got lost.
at the regressed age of 11 months this subject reacted as a infant would to being frightened when a extremely loud external noise interupted our session (apparently a car alarm was set off nearby),on hearing this the subject flung his arms and legs out as would a baby of that age would have responded.
The subject relives or re-experiences what has been lived through before with all the attendant emotions,appropriate to the attitude of the subject at the time.
Another point to these regressions are that subjects do not appear to contradict chronological events such as years or other dates of say travelling between countries or other significant things which have happened to them.
They all appear to be in order even when moving through the years in reverse sequence,in other words they don’t seem to ‘trip up’ and get their story in the wrong order,that I know of while I was still involved in Hypnotherapy.
I’ve mentioned before how opportunities can come our way,sometimes though it’s as if they are disguised as something not very meaningful to us at the time.
It was about this time of my studies when my wife wanted me to attend a one day workshop exploring Healing and other things of a psychic nature with her.
I did not really want to go just at that time, although I was still keen and interested in those subjects, I had never had personal experiences like she has had, she exclaimed there was no one else to go with and anyway she would not know anyone there. And so it was with more pestering, I agreed to go with her.
As it was,we were split up into a different group anyway, there were 5 groups of about 12 people in each group with a instructor or facilitator for each group. Out of about sixty people only two males were present,perhaps he was pestered too,I wondered as I spotted him in the distance.
but I do believe it is a compliment to Females to be much more naturally in tune with these subtle energies which has been proven to me do exist. The programme for the day consisted of talks and practicing; Healing with the hands, Reading Auras,Telepathy, Dream interpretation, Astral projection, Meditation and Clairvoyance.
I didn’t think I really got much out of the day by attending this workshop,except for one curious instance and as it turned out there was a second spin off which came to my notice several weeks later.
Our group settled in one room while the other groups were in adjacent rooms elsewhere in the building which was a rather large community centre.
The first discussion or talk was a overview of the spiritual connection between us and our material bodies and how the Soul or ‘essence’ which is us survives what we think of as death, I quite liked the explanation that all of us are in (say a classroom)which is our life at the moment and if we fail in our ‘lessons’for being here we have the opportunity to return to re-learn them later.
In other words there are no ‘drop outs’ in this school of life, and that with this natural law operating there is always Love and Harmony in the true scheme of things, it’s just that we humans go and complicate things and think we are victims of chance and circumstance when we think things are not going our way or when faced with hardships in our life.
but these are the very things by which we can evolve and grow from. Yes,thats exactly what happened to me with my ‘Phobia thing’and I came to the same conclusion too.
As the speaker was talking about time being immaterial in the sense of lessons to be learned I was comparing her choice of words to life as I know it to be,(actually I always do that anyway, to try and make a personal connection to what is being said).Simple reasoning tells me for any proposition to be valid,there must be no contradiction to that argument in any other area of life that we know of.
Well here was me,I was thirty something, taking up a study when I thought my School days were over,but did it really matter about the ‘timing’ of it or was the fact that it happened at all the important thing? I decided the answer was, no the timing did not matter,the important factor was that I allowed something to take place at all.
And that goes for all of us whether we are doing something in our lives or when we get an idea or different perspective that makes sense to us.
While this discussion was going on, the speaker happened to pick up one of three books which were beside her on the floor and asked if anyone had read any one of these which were by the same Author (it was a life story of a American lady on healing her own life). Some people present in the room had heard of her, some like me had not, some got a few good ideas out of her books and some did not. It was a nice day outside and someone suggested we all go outside to continue our talk on the lawn, I was the last one out and I happened to take a note of the Authors name from one of the books as I left.
As the morning went on I didn’t get anything out of the group sessions like trying to practice reading Auras, dream interpretation or Astral projection (I must have been too thick or something,but the healing using your hands to ’sense’the energy field around somebodys head was interesting I could feel my hands really getting hotter,the next session we had was Clairvoyance, again I was hopeless at this too.
Everyone had put a item of theirs on a table, (a watch or ring) for each person to pick at random and in turn to attempt to get whatever impressions they could from the item,some did really well,some did ok,some did not and my wild guesses were a total flop.
While this was going on I noticed two Women staring right at me from one side of the circle we were sitting in,I was uncomfortable with this, I glanced over at them and their eyes seemed to be a intense piercing blue colour, its the only way I can describe it, it did give me a fright but what happened soon after this nearly made me fall off my chair.
One of these two women spoke up and asked if she could interupt the others talking because she had a message for me, the second Woman also confirmed this and seemed to also ‘know’of this message at the same time.
Everyones attention turned to her,she said my Mother was standing beside me with her arm around my shoulder,she went on and gave a description of my Mothers appearance and mannerisms which were correct,
apparently my Mother was ‘telling’me I was in the ‘right’ place,and patting me on the shoulder. I gaped in amazement, I certainly couldn’t see or feel my Mothers presence of course and I had never met any of these people in the room before. nine years before this my Mother had died from a heart attack,after having a eariler heart condition.
I somehow felt comforted that my Mother had ‘popped in’,but I did not know what the meaning of her message was at all, afterall I did not learn anything new during the day. After this I noticed the eyes of these two women seemed normal again and not so intense looking.
The day was rounded off by a farewell speach by the facilitators,this was a good bunch of people I thought as we left to go home. My wife could not shed any new light on the ‘message’given to me either,after I told her about it at home.
At this time,I was coming up to my second year of my course and still busy with work and day to day things,whenever I could get a few quiet hours it would be spent reading or writing up assignments, the end of the course was in sight and I was dreading writing up a thesis which I knew I’d be starting soon.
I reflected too on how much I had changed over the years,I was from a single parent family being the youngest of three brothers and three sisters, my Mother had left my Dad before I was four years old,I had no recollection of him at all, my memory of the early years is one of constantly moving from place to place to where ever my Mother could find work to support us younger ones,we were all well taken care of though.
We kids were enrolled at Schools which included a rather strict Religious instruction as part of their curriculum. The reason for this selection of type of School was more out of tradition than any other reason. It was from this early exposure to (what I thought to be a harsh) Religion that I quickly learned what fear was,even at the tender age of seven I use to wonder if we were in ‘Hell’ already.
It was a welcome relief when I was finally placed in a public School at my constant pleading to my Mother. Because of relocating to different Schools quite often, It was difficult to make friends easily and being by far the youngest member of the family I felt like a loner,I didn’t mind though I liked my own company.
Maybe because of this early scenario,I grew up to be self reliant and one does tend to use themselves as a yard-stick of how others should be,if there was a occupation I would hate to be doing,that would have to be where I was envolved with decision making with other people, yes my attitude had changed from those days,and I was getting more confident of what the future may bring.
It was shortly after we had been to the workshop that I purchased the books that were talked about while there,after reading a little about the Author,I put them away till I had more time to read,meanwhile I was charging into my second to last assignment dealing with Re-Education; briefly, it deals with changing negative patterns to positive i.e..changing work and living patterns generally to accommodate change of life style (like say a loss of job) also, life change because of some traumatic experience and changing health patterns either to improve health generally or for some specific reason i.e…where a person has a inability to cope in some areas of life maybe due to symptoms of Anorexia,Bulimia ect. the list can be almost endless.
Self image plays a major role and as you investigate underlaying causes of a whole raft of symptoms a common theme I have noticed have their origns in relationships and a analogy of what I am talking about can begin when we project our expectations and hopes on future married life,we can build up a almost fairy-tale image of how we would like it to be,we want the other person so much to be like us and act as we would and to want mostly the same things.
I can understand how some marrages fail when this image does not live up to expectations and couples break up,sometimes because of emotional baggage by either one of them brought over from previous negative relationships or experiences.
But any preconceived suspicions or mis-trust of people in general that we may have from other experiences are a terrible injustice if we direct these feelings towards our partner if there are no real grounds for them other than ‘what we might expect to happen’ otherwise the marriage can turn into a self forfulling prophesy,when one partner goads the other so much that there is no alternative to breaking up because of the others imaginary fears and insecurities then they say ’see,I told you so,I knew we would’nt make it’.
Why am I writing on this particular subject?… please bear with me because it will get clearer further on.
The Re-Education assignment was a lenghty one to get through,not only because of the amount of detail that goes into preparing what is expected,but to build up case histories of my own which includes having to find subjects willing to give me the practical experience necessary.
Where I worked at the time,there was a supervisor in one of the departments who I knew,and we would sometimes sit around and “swap a few lies” as he called it. He was telling me about a amateur talent show,he had gone to with his wife and friends where the audience is invited to give a impromptu act on stage.
He had the confidence to get up and give a solo rendition of his favorite song,trouble was there was a loud-mouth in the audience calling out insults about him and his choice of song to the extent he cut his act short and returned to his table,he has a sensitive disposition and felt he had lost the respect of his wife and friends who were present by not retaliating.
“Why me”?..”I don’t insult others,so why should I be treated like this”,he was still rattled about it,to make him feel a little better,I asked who he thought the child was and who he thought the adult was and to go home and laugh it off with his wife about that child who needs to clammer for attention by annoying others,and to forget about it. Anyway,talking can ease mental tension and he wanted to see me the next weekend at my home.
Meanwhile I finally got around to reading some of the books that were mentioned while at the workshop,they are basicaliy on ‘Resentments’and ‘being locked in past events’,and a section on ‘forgiveness’.
I feel that I should stop here for a moment and just say, all of this story is a true account of things that did actually happen in my life,the next part discusses the definition of what I have found the word ‘Forgiveness’ to mean and how I have used its implications in practice, for no better reason than it might be of help to someone who is reading this,I ask that no one should ‘blindly’believe anything but use your own feelings for what you know to be right or wrong, and if you have a Religion I hope it strengthens you,remember my opinions are ONLY my opinions.
In one of the books there is a description of an exercise for dissolving resentments,but it was the word Forgiveness and its possible implications that I thought about the most…Forgiveness, does it mean one has to be subservient to forgive and does it mean you should forget too? But how can you forget say a instance where someone has commited an unforgiveable crime against you or your family?…Should you forgive?,Should you forget?,I know in my experience of age regressions memory still remains if not consciously then unconsciously affecting our present behaviour. Some memories are good to have,but some memories of resentments can be triggers negatively affecting our health and outlook of other people preventing us from trusting others and if you don’t have trust you don’t have love.
The pain and anger of resentments will stay locked in remaining time-less,if we continue holding onto them and how we can suffer with them,it’s a very private sort of pain,its not visible,its not tangible except in our perception,but what are we perceiving? I mean do we believe we are making the guilty party pay for their crime by keeping our private pain active?….No thats a illusion,thats not real…want to know why?…Because the guilty party has probably forgotten all about the offending incident and probably does not even care.
But that only makes it all the more hurtful in our perception,do we have a choice?,should we have a choice?,can we have a choice? Should we forgive? Does forgiving mean to condone and excuse the unforgivable?…NO.
I remember a case history of a tutor at the Institute where a lady came to see him,..Demanding that he see her son because her son had a problem. And it goes like this; Question..Why do I need to see him? Answer..Because he is Gay and thats not right.Q..How do you know he is Gay?..A..He told me..Q..Do you love your son?..A..Yes..Q..Then it was a act of love that he told you,the fact he’s Gay does not matter,he loves you enough to tell you didn’t he?..A..Yes..Q..So he does not have a problem being Gay,you have?..A..Yes,I’m the one with the problem. That example means to say love and acceptance are combined,it was not about condoning or excusing.
So what is love then?
On the face of it there are many types,but there can only be one true meaning,it can be taken that an expression of love takes courage because we open ourselves to be wounded by rejection, theres the; I’ll love you if you do things for me variety,If you love me I’ll be different or I will change ect.,but that type has strings attached,it’s used as a controling element,(Now you the reader can forgive me for saying);In some Religions love and fear appears to be combined in their doctrine,you have to love at the same time fear the consequences if you don’t,it’s loosely like saying two opposing emotions can exist equally togeather,this can not be done,only one of the two emotions will dominate otherwise its like two forces keeping the status quo.
If that were so then you have stagnation,when you apply this philosophy to people you replace free will with control. I remember also a statement that love is not an emotion but it is ‘who we really are’,real love is unconditional,like a mother saying to her children,no matter what you do,I’ll always love you,even though I will never condone or excuse some of the things you have done.
Love must be the essence of forgiveness then surely. With the following two case histories I would like to show you how these persons retained the memory but without the pain.
Over the following weekend my pal from work called around home to “swap a few more lies.”
I had known him long enough to have a comfortable conversation on just about anything at all and we would keep each other updated on what were the current things going on in our lives. I happened to mention the latest books I had and to make conversation,I showed him one of the copies.
I did not know what a ‘hornets nest’ I had opened up though by doing that. He seemed to be flustered and then outraged at something he was quickly reading through,and I did not know why.
He was ’stumbling’over a section dealing with holding onto resentments and the need to forgive…”What a load of garbage”he yelled and I thought my book was going to take flying lessons out the window. I let the matter go,much later on in the conversation after asking how his wife was and if he had settled his feelings over the incident at the talent show,I got the feeling he wanted to talk to someone but did not just know how to start.
It was much later again he told me a few things’
I have listed his background to give you a clearer picture of events,with his permission.
When he married 12 years before,it was just what he wanted,he liked the idea of settling down and doing the same things with someone else and being stable. His past relationships with girlfriends had been mostly off than on,he would do all he could to please them but it was not very long before they discovered ‘greener fields over the hill’so to speak,as I have mentioned before he has a quiet disposition and could tell he could be easily upset.
With each new girlfriend,he sort of anticipated that the friendship would not last long. He could not see he was setting himself up in his mind for history to repeat,he couldn’t expect anything better because he did not know anything better. Married life for him was punctuated with little instances causing him to feel jealousy,from that time to the present.
Although there were never any instances of infidelity the percieved threat or possibility was never far from his mind when a innocent remark would be made by his wife,whereby a double meaning could be taken from it. In his mind the remark would most often be taken out of context and misconstrued whereby his value or expendability to the marriage would be in question.
Not all the time this would happen,but his wife was acutely aware of the need to be careful,or should have been. When his feelings were incited by some such remark,he would first,go quiet and not want to talk,he was suffering inside,his dignity was wounded,he was remembering,people can be cruel,he thought.
His wife would invariably ask, “what was wrong this time?” And often pressed him for an immediate answer,instead of leaving the issue for the moment,but she was not to know.
He would react quite suddenly with anger and rage lasting sometimes for days. She could not understand why even though he tried to give reasons. He was not living the life he wanted,they were not living the life they should have had,still they stayed togeather.
He felt ’stuck’, he couldn’t leave,couldn’t stay,he tried to understand his feelings but couldn’t.
All he knew to do however,was to draw up a shield around his emotions,but that mean’t being wary of his wife,because when was she going to attack him again? But she was not the enemy,she was a trigger, the enemy was his own imagination. After listening to this I wondered if it is possible that we do meet the right person in our life after all, who perhaps acts like a ‘mirror’who has a habit of reflecting back to us our own shortcomings and ‘draws’out of us the very things we need to resolve the most for our own good,to break the record which replays in our mind when some word or association restimulates the memory of past events.
Yes we can go on forever if we like banging our head against a brick wall if we really want to,untill one day we finally ‘get it’and realise no one else is responsible for our feelings,the simple truth is WE ARE. If this reasoning is correct this persons wife is the best thing to happen to him since sliced bread,even though he percieved her to be the enemy,she was the instrument by which he must make a decision,he could either carry on his life in the same fashion,love her ,hate her or run away,but maybe by running away he just might run into another relationship where he would see himself in someone elses eyes while they are saying to him “Whats wrong,why go so quiet?”
(now where did he hear those same words from? Anyway,to carry on we did discuss these very ideas and later he left to go home with a method from the book I wrote down for him which went;
Sit quietly,close your eyes and allow your mind and body to relax…Then imagine yourself sitting in a darkened theatre,and in front of you is a small stage…On that stage place the person you resent the most…It could be past or present,living or dead…When you see this person clearly,visualize good things happening to this person…Things that would be meaningful to them…See them smiling and happy…Hold this image for a few minutes,then let it fade away…As they leave the stage,put yourself up there,See good things happening to you…See yourself smiling and happy.
Note;Portions of this method are from an old Emmet Fox exercise, credit also to Louise L. Hay for her thoughtful inclusion of this exercise in her book “You can Heal your life”.
It was some time later when he flared up again with anger over something his wife said, he stormed off to a spare room in the house and shut himself in, determined not to even look at his wife for the remainder of the day. Hours passed while he tried to cool off but it was difficult to do so,he eventually got bored being in the room,but still determined to keep his vow for the day,looking for something to do,he looked around for something to read,a magazine or anything but there was no reading material there,storming out of the room, he grabbed a few magazines and books from his own room and returned to his ’sanctuary’,roughly thumbing through the pages,he realised he wasn’t really in the mood to read anyway.
Tossing the reading material on the floor,a piece of paper fell out of one of the books. It was the method I’d written down. He gave in and read it for the first time,words summon up images in our mind when we read and he allowed himself to visualise what was suggested,while doing so he felt tears rolling down his cheeks,as he saw his wifes face smiling while on the stage and after this exercise he felt mixed up,his energy during the day was spent on his anger and now he was exhausted,besides he was getting hungry.
Later while grudgingly having dinner his wife had made,she was patting him on the shoulder when he suddenly felt lighter,much lighter in fact and he looked at her in a new way,the hate had been replaced with love,strangely the resentments had left him from from that day onwards. That was several years ago now and he says it’s as if a great weight has been lifted from his shoulders.
You know,the world is full of ‘if’s,but if I had never attended the workshop that day perhaps I’d never have come across this method,yes my mothers message was true I was in the right place that day afterall.
Please know that this exercise can be the most hardest, the most difficult thing to do for anybody to go through with,if our hurt is very deep,but it is certainly powerful medicine when applied for those who need it.
I would like to tell you of a second example which concerns a lady who was 38 years of age at the time.
Using Hypnotherapy for relaxation purposes she went to her ‘favorite place’,on the method (if you remember),she visualised herself being in a forest clearing,while witnessing a Fawn being born in the far distance,she then ‘felt’ that there was someone else present also,this started to upset her and it was at this point I noticed her distress evident by her facial expression,we ended the session immediately and brought her back to full consciousness.
She,herself felt this invasive feeling was related somehow to a childhood incident 31 years before of being molested. The key to understanding and coming to terms with difficult situations calls for a tolerance that can seem overwheming for us to achieve on our own and so she volunteered her story.
She always felt as if no one believed her,as a child,she tried to tell her mother of the incident,she was told to “Go away and stop telling lies”. It was a close relative who was involved at the time when she was 7 years old. The incident was not reported to the authorities either it seemed both parents did not want to know about it. She felt resentment, lack of self worth, guilt and injustice, she had not told her husband of it either because of the shame she still felt.
She did not have any religious beliefs that she might try to find comfort or reason in. I asked about the relative in question, the subject no longer has any contact,but has heard he never married,has not owned any property,did have a new car and had taken pride in it, only to have it stolen and destroyed and is troubled by ill health.
These feelings of injustice of it all never had gone away after all this time and she was still grieving. What could I say?,What could I do?,What can anyone do or say to her that will be of use or make any sense? I started to feel very inadequate. We just sat in silence for a while just reflecting.
I swear I never knew and still don’t know where the words came from,but I started to offer a concept she had not considered before.
You know you might be right,maybe there is no real justice if we only think of laws and courts, even if everyone had taken notice of you and this person was ‘put’ away,it might have settled a revenge for a while,but you think there is no other way to come to grips with what happened?
Instead of justice lets look for a balance instead,this person has not known love and companionship of a marrage,his prized possesion,a car was shortlived and he has bad health,now tell me there’s no justice.
This discussion took all of an hour and was aimed to lessen the resentment that was felt,and anyway wasn’t it the truth? Certainly some things which are inflicted on us are not fair there is no doubt,but it is very true that we do not consider what is happening in the other persons life.
She knew of the method I have mentioned,it was there for her to use if she would allow herself to just try it. My own thoughts are,that there is a place in us which can never be harmed,no matter what may happen to us,and there the realisation and truth lays that we are truly never ‘given’ more than we can handle in life.
Around this time,my wife was still picking up intuitive flashes at different times, she surprised me several times,once we were walking to a local store and as we passed a woman gardening outside her home,my wife just ‘knew’ that person would die within a couple of weeks,one and a half weeks later,the lady was instantly killed by a speeding driver out side her home.
She was attending a circle of like-minded people and it was there she discovered she could diagnose some causes of illness of others with accuracy. She had a friend come to vist one day,and I remember her saying,she felt ‘heavy’and drained that day and knew it was the last time both of them would meet,that night the friend died from Asphyxia from a Asthma attack,which she had since a child.
There were so many such instances and not always bad things either,but the latest development was a ‘voice’ which tried to communicate with her,this was in the form of thoughts or ideas which she knew were not her own. ‘It’ related details of little incidents which had happened to me on occasions at work,but were so insignificant to me that I had forgotten all about them,the reason for this was to prove it’s validity to my wife that it could be trusted,time would tell however.
I had completed my last assignment and my thesis was in the post for the Institute to appraise, at that time I visited the Psychologist who I will call ‘Larry’,he was the person who had been involved with the author of ‘The Philosophy of one’ book and one of the tutors at the Institute, the two of them had lost contact over the years,it was interesting to learn of his experiences and case histories,he started out with a interest in Hypnotherapy which never left him,then gained his PHD and combined the two in his practice and is a author himself.
I also networked with a Phobic centre,where they deal with O.C.D. cases and various debilitating disorders ,actually the Psychologists I met there were very easy on a personal level to talk to,in fact one was telling me about his ‘needle’ phobia when he was a child,I’d reply “Thats interesting now lay on the couch and tell me everything,the methods they use is not all that dis-similar to my own methods oh yes except for the couch bit and I don’t think they use them either.
It was a good feeling when I at last received my Diploma,I did not waste any time applying to be registered to a governing body,now what am I going to do next I wondered. To gain added experience I thought of volunteering some time to the free natural health clinic,that I told you about at the start of this story,yes thats what I’ll do.
With that thought in mind,I did not know it was to be the begining of the end of Hypnotherapy for me.
The clinic is always appreciative of Therapists wanting to join their band of people, in whatever way they could with their different modalities and welcomed people if they wished to help in the day to day running of the clinic as receptionists and many other very necessary tasks.
So I started there for one day a week and at the begining it was a strange feeling to be there at all,if anyone had told me in the past what I would be eventually doing, there would be no way I would have believed them and would have thought them crazy.
After a time of seeing various clients,there were two people in particular who changed my view of what I should be doing. One case was a lady who,s nerves were so sensitised by past events which had compounded over time that she perceived everyone and anyone as a direct threat to her,it was difficult to make headway,and even though as a Therapist your own feelings are secondary,I am also human and felt uncomfortable having my motives in question,even with recognising her feelings were through no fault of her own,it was because of this inference, I wondered if I was in the right place afterall.
She was given a gentle meditation exercise to follow through with before any other work could begin. Meanwhile,I had another person I had been seeing for several weeks who was suffering from depression,we were making good progress and he was quite able to come up with his own interesting insights,at one stage he started to ‘close up’,we seemed to be getting to an area in his life that he was unable to talk about,at this stage I was feeling more comfortable being in a Counselling role,while Hypnotherapy is a much quicker way of therapy because the client is re-experiencing emotions rather than giving a rationalised account of attitudes expressed by them,however he still would not talk, so I suggested he sit back and listen to me for a while.
I gave a outline of what his feelings and thoughts were as far as I could ascertain them to be and proceeded to give an overview of what the possible effects were having on him and extending to his family at the time. When I finally stopped talking,I had a funny but very definite feeling that I should listen very carefully to what he was about to say next, so I waited,untill he simply said; “Why don’t people know these things?”. It was a real anticlimax I thought, I was waiting for some bolt from the blue and thats all he said.
At the clinic there is a director,who amongest other things,listens to ‘grizzles’ by others who want to get something off their mind, I suggested a Seminar may be useful for many who might find it difficult to come to a clinic for help,because it does take courage to ‘front’ up and besides then it may be possible to attract their family members who we do not often see,but who may gain some useful ideas and come to a better understanding of their loved ones,with problems of emotional difficulties.
It happened again,I just blurted out these words without knowing what I was saying, in fact I did not even know what I wanted to see the director about anyway at the time. But the more I thought about it, the more sense the idea made,besides I could remove myself from a one to one situation and give a input talking to a whole group of people.
Yes not a bad idea,so I eventually left the clinic with this in mind.
With the way I am,it’s always been ‘all or nothing’ in the way I do things, with no half measures in between,and I placed a small advertisment in a local newspaper as a ‘market research’,and recieved a good enough response to have brochures printed with info on what the subject matter was.
And at the same time organised a venue to hold my first seminar and the date was set for the next month. Later when I gave myself time to slow down and think it dawned on me I had never been in the position of addressing a audience before, uh oh what have I done?, it is one thing to have a conversation with someone where you can gauge their reaction to what is being said,but it is quite another to carry and direct a topic especially of what I had in mind.
Public speaking is one of those things we are not normally called on to do, and for most of us it rates high on the list of things we would rather avoid altogether
If you are in this category, welcome to the club, I use to be a member as well,but if you extend yourself to overcome the initial fear you might even enjoy it once you start,at this time of my life though, with everything else that had happened I was sure if I extend myself any further I would burst. But I had committed myself to this task now even though it was to be at least a three hour talk for a first timer.
At first I had visions of forgetting words, even worse repeating myself, even worse still the butterflies were going to break loose from my stomach, fly around the room and dive bomb the audience, to top it off,I’d faint right then and there on the stage.
But it is very true that no one makes us think these thoughts,we do it all by ourselves. As a back-up and to provide extra input,I called on Larry the Psychologist acquaintance,who agreed to be a guest speaker.
He was a veteran of many lectures of his own, and I got on with working out a programme for the night.. Perhaps by reading of my experience of overcoming stage fright it might help,or give some ideas at least if you happen to be a ‘club member’ as well and you want to overcome it.
Progressive de-sensitisation,in this case is where you give yourself a mental rehearsal of ’seeing’ yourself doing the very thing you are attempting to avoid,and ‘hook’a feeling of being calm and relaxed to your visualisation,making the scene as realistic as you can,it works you know. Anyway just ask yourself what is the reason for giving a speech in the first place,..Is it to stand there and feel nervous?,No of course not,then the reason must be to get a point or a idea across to the audience instead,forget about yourself and ’see’yourself doing well,feeling very calm and relaxed,feeling happy that you are doing the thing you want the most,you are very calm and confident.
This mental rehearsal works very well,most important though is to feel relaxed while doing it and keep practicing it several times and you will be amazed how effective it is.
Just one more thing,do not tell yourself things like; “I hope I’ll do ok”,or “I’m feeling calm and not panicing” because that is negative and introducing a element of doubt and apprehension and you do not want that,keep it simple and positive,and don’t worry you do not need self hypnosis or anything else like that for it to be successful,just your imagination is all you need..
But I do remember once while using Hypnotherapy at the time,for a actor who felt he was starting to ‘lose it’and was sure he was going to forget his lines,after appropriate suggestions and later when he was actually on the stage,he said it was if he could really ’see’ his script right in front of him and all he had to do was read from it.He got his confidence back needless to say.
Meanwhile my wife had her own ‘communication’ going on of a different kind though.
This ‘voice’that had popped in,had made itself known as a person who had lived some eighty years before and had died from a accident at sea,it seemed pleased that someone was able to finally hear it and recognise it’s presence. I do know however that she is not given to exaggeration or ‘flights of fantasy’ and is a very down to earth person. And if it were not for the curious fact that it did indeed accurately predict events which did come about,it would be very difficult for me or anyone to believe such things are at all possible.
It’s demeanor over time gradually changed though,from something of a curiosity value to that of a interferance in my wifes life, the information became less accurate and over a period of months became more of a nuisance to have ‘around’ for her. She was becoming upset with this state of affairs and wished it would go away. And that is what eventually happened,when she realised no one,even this type of intrusion in her thoughts had a right or even the means to get to a stage of interfering in her life indefinately. (Actually she used strong language to tell it to go away) And what did this all mean anyway? Well maybe it was all about learning to take responsibility for herself,who knows,and to be open minded that certain things are possible,sometimes it is hard to understand why certain things happen,don’t you think? So she went back to being her plain old intuitive self.
And later,the seminar went well I thought in fact I found while talking ‘I felt just like anyone else there’,with no feeling of forgeting words or even,(dread the thought),fainting,it was a real feeling of accomplishment to get over this major drawback.
And what was the purpose of wanting to hold these seminars? I would not be so arrogant as to use the word Education to describe it, the reason was maybe a naive one and for no better reason that it may be useful to someone else to let them know they do not need to feel victims of chance and circumstance, that is an option only and does not need to be part of our reality.I’ll finish off this true story by saying I have always had trouble with the word ‘Education’ to me it implys,something we need to strive for,or to put effort into attaining,there are some things we don’t have to have drummed into us because I prefer to use the words Latin meaning of ‘To bring forth that which is already known’.